Homestudy Interviews

We had our joint and individual interviews this week with our social worker. I wasn't worried about them, but I will say that I'm happy they are over! :)

We had to keep Pickle up past his bedtime so that he could meet the social worker because she has to meet all the kids. Our children are young enough that she didn't have to talk to them about the adoption. It was a little disconcerting to see someone taking notes about my children while they were "just doing their thing" so to speak.

After that she needed to see the house, which we had cleaned fairly well without being obsessive about it, but it was pretty clean. It was good, as my husband pointed out, that we hadn't just tried to hide all our junk in a closet somewhere because we had to open up every door. Again, a little weird, but not too bad.

I had made fresh rolls and sweet tea so maybe it could have been a little more social gathering like and less like an interview, but she said that she'd eaten on the way over so that didn't work out. Not too bad though because this family can down a batch of homemade rolls like nobody's business.

Then I put the kids to bed and went to hang out in the guest room while Andrew had his interview. I could hear a snippet every now and again of what they were talking about, but I would have given anything to have bionic ears so I could really have snooped. :)

My interview (and I'm assuming Andrew's) was fine. Our worker is friendly and she had a good sense of humor, which is good for dealing with us because we joke a lot. It took about 90 minutes, maybe a little longer.

These were some of the questions (not in this order):

1. Describe yourself-personality wise
2. Describe your spouse
3. Tell me about your childhood
4. What is your dad like?
5. What is your mom like?
6. How did your family show affection?
7. How were you disciplined?
8. Talk about your siblings
9. What's your greatest strength?
10. What's your biggest weakness?
11. What's your spouses greatest strength?

I think the highlight of the interviews was when I had to come downstairs and get Andrew to pick the lock on the boys' door because Peanut locked the two of them in the bedroom...

The joint interview was a little more "fun" because the attention was split between the two of you and it just seemed a little easier. That interview was in her office and lasted about three hours.

Those questions were:

1. Tell me about how you met
2. Why do you want to adopt? From Ethiopia? This specific Little Miss?
3. What's you parenting style like?
4. How do you discipline?
5. How do you handle disagreements?
6. Tell me about a recent fight and how you resolved it
7. Tell me about Peanut
8. Tell me about Pickle
9. How will you keep Little Miss connected to her heritage?
10. How do your families feel about the adoption?

I'm sure there are important questions that I forgot, but that's a general overview. I have to say overall it covered a lot of ground, but at the same time it didn't feel really THOROUGH enough. Shouldn't there have been more? I'm going to be raising a sweet sweet litte girl and it just seems like there should be more.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be done with that. I think we're good parents and we're going to love Little Miss and do the best we can by her, just like our boys and I think that most adoptive parents are the same way. The thing is, if the tables were reversed. If I had to give my child to someone else to raise, I would want there to be more.

Outrage

We all need to read this post at HappyGirlHair and write emails about this. The entire situation is an outrage that it happened and that basically the response has been, "Sorry, the teacher is under a lot of stress."

My response to that is, "I really don't care." She is an ADULT, a TEACHER. She needs to have more self-control and evidently some counseling. It is just unacceptable behavior. What message is this sending to children? Nothing good, I promise.

She wanted to teach the little girl to self-control by abdicating her own self-control? This is just another example of children not being treated with respect simply because they are children. Fear, shame, lies, and humiliation have no part of teaching a child anything except how to respond in kind.

This week

I'm not saying this is a lot of stuff, just saying this is what's happening:

Monday: We do two of our online parent education courses for the adoption. We open a game that I bought for my niece to "test" before giving it to her for Christmas. It was Scrabble Slam and it was pretty fun. Like most games, it would be more fun with more than 2 people, but it was still fun.

Tuesday: I'm getting a hair cut today. Happy dance. Happy dance. Yahoo. Wahoo. Celebrate. Celebrate. (Randomly...Peanut used to dance in circles and sing "Celebrate celebrate" over and over again. It was funny. To us anyway...)

Wednesday: Our individual interviews are this evening. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! (Any other Little Einstein fans out there?)

Thursday: We got a babysitter for our joint interview!. Think about a 3 hour interview in someone else's office with a 3 year old and 1 year. Do you feel sick yet? It was making me ill contemplating it and now I've avoided the bullet. Amen! I'm also going to a MOPS meeting this night without the kids so it will be fun. A note toward my pathetic side between the interview in the morning and the party in the evening this will be the most time I've spent away from them since I went to the hospital to give birth to Pickle. I need a life.

Friday: This is our Christmas Eve because we're traveling starting on Sunday. I'm really over traveling with my children. Oh well. For Christmas Eve I'll be making ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes and cranberry-apple pie and we'll give the kids their new jammies to wear for Christmas. I'll also make the make-ahead food for Christmas.

Saturday: This will be our Christmas. Fun fun. Then packing not fun. We got the boys good fun stuff this year, not too much of it, but a nice amount of cool toys. Little Miss even got a present or two. :) She also has a Christmas cookie that I made for her (the only heart I made, sigh) and that since she won't be here to eat we won't let anyone else eat it.

Sunday: We'll be driving to Kentucky and spending a few days there. Last time we got stuck in traffic for hours. This time we're either finding a new way to go or I swear I'm staying home. :) We'll have Christmas with Andrew's immediate family and then drive to Ohio on real Christmas Eve to be with my family for the weekend. then we'll come home on Sunday.

I'm so sick of driving aleady.

Christmas in Ethiopia

Christmas in Ethiopia is celebrated on January 7th and is called Genna. I was going to save this post until then, but I've decided to go ahead and do it now. I'm hoping to be able to celebrate on January 7th in a special way with our family so I'll post about that then.

This information was shared on one of the yahoo groups that I'm a member of:

"Ethiopian Christmas (also known as "Lidet" or "Genna" in Amharic - more on the word "Genna" below) falls on January 7th (Tahisas 29 EC). The religious celebration includes mid-night service, choir singing, lighting of candles and colorful procession. Depending on part of the country, the service may last up to the wee-hours of the morning with outdoor procession that culminates at the top of a hill.

The rest of the day is spent feasting (the Feast of the Epiphany - every Orthodox Christian is expected to fast the previous 40 days). The main course includes Doro wat, yeGenna dabo (home-made bread), and home-made honey-wine and/or "Tella." For the grown-ups, coffee ceremony is a part of the feast while children play a game of "Genna." (a field hockey type game also known as "Genna" (according to tradition, this is how shepherds celebrated when they first heard the birth Christ).

There are no exchanging of gifts. New closing/shoes/etc. for children and the buying of "live" chicken/sheep/goat/oxen (depending on once ability and family size) is the only "commercial" activity at the holiday approaches. Yes, there is some exchanging of Christmas cards in urban areas but for the most part the traditional way of celebrating the holiday is as summarized above. "

I was able to find this slideshow for the more visual learners of there. Thanks, BBC.

A slightly random collection of greetings and information is on this page. If you can't see the Amharic writing, then check for a button that looks like a ripped piece of paper right next to your browser's address bar. If you click on that it will try and fix the compatability of the site so that you can see it.

I suggest you spend the time between now and your Christmas and then Genna to think of ways that we can bring a little bit more of Ethiopia to our Christmas, no matter when you celebrate it.

Heartwarming Part 2

For the beginning of the story check out this post: Heartwarming. I was back at Jo-Ann Fabrics today because I'm making a flag for Baby Miles that features the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The lady that I had spoken with last time about adoption, who had been adopted domestically, was standing next to the woman that was cutting my fabric and working on the order of another women. I politely interrupted them (because I was leaving).

I said, "I'm sure you don't remember, but I was here before about making blankets for our adoption..." And her eyes just lit up. She said, "NOW I remember you!" And asked if we had her home yet and how things were going, etc. I answered her questions and then said that I had a picture, actually with me, this time, and asked if she wanted to see it. She said that she did, of course, and then I handed her the picture (on my phone). She just ooh and ahhed over it, which only makes sense because I HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER EVER. :) Seriously.

She was making such a fuss and going on and on that the African American woman that she had been helping asked if she could see the picture too. I said of course she could. She put her glasses on and agreed about how beautiful my daughter (I know, legally, she's not my daughter yet, but legal shmegal...) is and what beautiful eyes, and lips she has and how her features just jump right out at you.

And then she said, "Now, don't be offended...(and I braced myself because while I'm not easily offended on my own behalf it doesn't much of a slight to my family to bring out the mama bear in me!) ...but please take care of her hair and braid it!" (and I exhaled in relief not offended at all. In fact, if you people could see what I go around looking like on a daily basis and I was adopting even a white girl people would be justified in being worried that I could do her hair...lol) And I assured her that I was going to do the best that I could in hair stying and when I can't figure it out we'll head over to a salon and let them show me!

She laughed and said that I'd be doing fine just to find a "mama black woman" to be friends with and she could teach me how to braid. Then she continued about how shameful she thought Angelina Jolie was for "letting her daughter run around still looking like an orhphan!"

I hope it comes across right in my post because it really was a friendly exchange. And, I don't plan on having her hair in braids all the time because I love little puffs and baby afros and other natural looking styles too, but no matter what I will be doing my best to take good care of her hair and I can't wait! : )

He Said What

It wasn't today, maybe a few days ago or a week ago or something like that, my sense of time isn't so good since entering motherhood, but anyway, in the recent past my husband said:

"If we ever homeschool the kids..."


I consider this a major success!! I don't even remember what he ended the sentence with....


Peanut also says things that make me do a double-take. For instance, he currently believes that God is a woman. He recently told me, "God is a doctor. He listens to our hearts."

And I started thinking about what a spiritual prodigy my child was, and how insightful he is, and what a sweet heart he has.

And he continued. "She (God) isn't really a doctor. She just pretends. She has a "stepocoat" (stethoscope) and pretends to hear my heart."

And then I realized that he was retelling an episode of Sesame Street and mixing in a little Sunday School. It was the "stepocoat" that tipped me off...

Calling Maryland Locals

I'm looking for a drive-through Christmas lights display that we can do with the kiddos one evening this next week. Anyone have a recommendation? It needs to be something nearby because my kids are little and don't sleep in the car. :)